How to Talk to Men About Mental Health

If you suspect that a young man in your life is struggling with their mental health, you may be wondering the best way to support them. How do you start the conversation? What are some things you should—and more importantly—shouldn’t say to a man who’s suffering in silence?

With men accounting for nearly 80 percent of suicide deaths in the U.S. and 77 percent experiencing symptoms of anxiety, stress, or depression at some point, early intervention is critical. But mental health stigma and cultural norms around masculinity keep many men from discussing their mental health, let alone seeking professional help.

While engaging the topic might be intimidating, the gesture might just save their life.

In this article, we offer practical guidance for anyone—partners, friends, parents, family members, or colleagues—to talk to the men in their life about mental health and help them access the support and care they need.

Key Statistics: Men, Suicide, and Young Adult Mental Health

The statistics are nothing short of alarming and underscore the scope of mental health problems among men, especially in young adult men:

• Nearly 1 in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, yet less than half receive treatment. About 6 percent of adult males in the U.S. experience depression, and 15 percent of men in the U.S. report symptoms of anxiety disorders
• Male suicide rates remain roughly four times higher than female rates. The most recent CDC data shows male suicide rates are at approximately 22 per 100,000, and 77 percent of all suicides are completed by men
• Data from the National Institute of Mental Health shows that nearly 12 percent of young adults ages 18–25 had serious mental health given year, yet only about 17 percent of men overall reported receiving any mental health treatment

Why Men Don’t Talk About Mental Health

From the time they are boys, young men have been taught early—intentional or not—to suppress emotion. Phrases like “man up” and “boys don’t cry” fill homes, schools, and locker rooms conveying the message that vulnerability equals weakness.

Research shows men and boys who are taught to hide their feelings are less willing to seek help for psychological challenges. This emotional suppression is also linked to an increase in negative risk-taking behavior and inappropriate aggression.

Data confirms that men across the globe are carrying the burden alone: A commissioned survey of 1,000 men in the UK found that 40 percent of men won’t discuss their mental health with anyone, and 22 percent of men feel uncomfortable discussing mental health with their doctor. Perhaps most alarming, 40 percent of men won’t discuss mental health until suicidal thoughts arise.

If we are only looking for someone to say, ‘I’m depressed and I need help,’ we may miss many of the ways young men are telling us they’re struggling.”

Michael Roeske, PsyD, Senior Director, Center of Research and Innovation

How to Know When a Man in Your Life is Struggling

So, how do you know when a young man in your life is struggling when they’re statistically less likely to talk about it? It requires looking beyond the stereotype that depression equates to sadness.

Michael Roeske, PsyD, Senior Director of Newport’s Center for Research and Innovation, says that men don’t always experience or communicate emotional distress in ways that people immediately recognize as a mental health struggle.

“Sometimes sadness looks like irritability. Anxiety can look like avoidance or shutting down,” he said. “Loneliness can become excessive gaming, substance use, over- or underworking, or withdrawal from relationships. If we are only looking for someone to say, ‘I’m depressed and I need help,’ we may miss many of the ways young men are telling us they’re struggling.”

Recognizing symptoms early is critical to getting a young man in your life professional support.

Signs to Look For

Behavioral Changes

• Declining work or school performance
• Isolation from friends and family
• Missed deadlines
• Risky behavior such as reckless driving or impulsive decisions

Physical Symptoms

• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Persistent fatigue
• Unexplained headaches
• Digestive problems, or weight changes

Emotional Signs

• Increased irritability
• Anger
• Numbness
• Loss of interest in hobbies
• Persistent worry or anxiety

Self-Medication

• Increased alcohol or drugs use
• Overworking, or other behaviors intended to numb or distract

Red Flags for Suicide Risk

It’s important to be aware of key indicators of suicide risk, which can include:

• Talking about being a burden
• Expressing hopelessness
• Giving away possessions
• Sudden calm after severe distress

If these early suicide signs are present, urgent action is needed. If you feel your loved one is in immediate danger, call 911. You can also find 24/7 support by dialing 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

How to Talk to a Young Man About Mental Health

Michael shares that many of the young men enter treatment at Newport with more than one mental health concern and a profound sense of disconnection or uncertainty about who they are and where they fit in the world.

“Underneath those symptoms, there can be a lot of loneliness, shame, and difficulty knowing how to ask for help,” he said.

Reaching them, he says, begins with connection. And knowing what—and what not—to say is critical.

“Instead of saying, ‘You seem depressed’ or ‘You need to get help,’ try just getting time together. Once some closeness is established, you can share what you’ve noticed, such as ‘You haven’t seemed like yourself lately, and I’ve noticed you’re pulling away from some of the things you used to enjoy. And I wanted to check in.’ That gives him an opportunity to talk without feeling diagnosed or cornered.”

And if you’re a young man who is suffering in silence, Justin Graham, MD, Inpatient Medical Director, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist for Newport’s PrairieCare division, wants you to know that asking for help is not a weakness.

“You don’t have to reach some imaginary threshold of suffering before you deserve help, he said. “I think a lot of young men grow up believing that they’re supposed to handle things themselves, to push through, not complain, and to not let other people know they’re struggling. It takes courage to reach out and say, ‘Hey, I need help, and, and I’m not doing well.'”

Coping Strategies and Everyday Support You Can Offer

Many men are more open to action-based coping strategies than traditional talk therapy alone. As a partner or friend, you can encourage and join in on some evidence-based approaches that can lead to better mental health:

Regular Physical Activity

Meet them at the gym, go for scheduled runs, or join a team sport together. Numerous studies show that regular physical activity reduces anxiety and improves mood and improve overall mood by releasing endorphins, often referred to as “feel-good” hormones. These activities not only provide a structured way to exercise but also foster social connections, which can reduce feelings of loneliness.

Sleep and Lifestyle Changes

Promoting healthy sleep habits is essential for mental and physical health. Encourage your loved one to adopt a consistent sleep schedule that includes the recommended 7–9 hours of quality sleep each night. This can be achieved by establishing a calming bedtime routine and creating a sleep-friendly environment. Suggest reducing nightly screen time, as studies indicate that exposure to blue light from devices can interfere with the body’s natural sleep-wake cycle, leading to poorer quality sleep.

Breathing Exercises and Meditation

Incorporating breathing exercises and meditation into daily routines can be a powerful tool for managing stress and enhancing emotional awareness. Even brief, guided practices lasting just five minutes a day can lead to significant improvements in mental clarity and emotional regulation.

Creative Outlets

Incorporating breathing exercises and meditation into daily routines can be a powerful tool for managing stress and enhancing emotional awareness. Even brief, guided practices lasting just five minutes a day can lead to significant improvements in mental clarity and emotional regulation.

Also read: 5 Ways to Help People Feel Seen and Supported

When to Encourage Professional Mental Health Treatment

There comes a point when informal support is not sufficient. If mental health symptoms persist for weeks or months, if your loved one expresses thoughts of self-harm, or if functional decline is evident—missing work, neglecting self-care, escalating substance use—it’s time to encourage mental health treatment.

For parents who need to start the conversation with their young adult son, Michael emphasizes that it’s important to respect that he’s an adult. “Parents can express concern, offer resources, and make it easier to access professional support, but approaching him with respect and curiosity is often much more effective than trying to take control.”

Supporting men’s mental health is not about one perfect conversation. It’s about showing up-again and again-with patience, honesty, and care. Small, consistent actions affect how safe he feels to seek help, open up, and ultimately heal. If you’re unsure where to begin, consider reaching out to Newport Healthcare’s admissions team for guidance on available resources and treatment programs for young adult men.

Treatment for Young Adult Men at Newport Institute

Newport Institute offers evidence-based treatment for depression, anxiety, trauma, and co-occurring disorders for young adult men ages 18–35, using a family-centered, multidisciplinary model. We have locations in California, Connecticut, Minnesota, and Washington State.

If you or a loved one is struggling, we’re here to help, 24/7. Contact us today. Your call is always confidential.