If you’re a parent of a middle or high schooler, you already know that back-to-school shopping isn’t just about pencil cases or binders anymore. It’s about which backpack, water bottle, squishy toy, or bag charm to get. And how many of them your child will beg you for.
Brand envy in children is a phenomenon in which kids feel distress over not owning specific branded items like Stanley tumblers, Nike sneakers, KPop Demon Hunter-themed backpacks, or rare squishies like the infamous NeeDoh. While brand envy can emerge as early as preschool, when children first recognize brand logos, it peaks during middle childhood and adolescence as social belonging becomes critical.
Envy is developmentally normal in children as they seek identity and belonging. But equating products with self-worth can be particularly harmful for middle schoolers and high schoolers. As the school year approaches, learn how to shift the focus from brand hype to helping kids find their true selves.
Quick Read
Back-to-school shopping isn’t just about school supplies anymore. For many kids and teens, the brands, trends, and must-have items they bring to school can feel closely tied to belonging and social status. This can fuel brand envy, peer comparison, and self-esteem struggles—especially as social media exposes young people to endless hauls, trends, and curated content.
The good news is that parents can help kids navigate these pressures by talking openly about envy, setting realistic boundaries around spending and social media, supporting personal expression, and reinforcing that a young person’s value goes far beyond what they own.
How Back-to-School Shopping Became a High-Pressure Event
Picture the typical back-to-school rush: crowded checkout stations, your kid scrolling TikTok in the aisle, and a list of requests so specific it reads like a brand catalog. Minecraft backpacks, LoveShackFancy × Stanley tumblers, Owala FreeSip bottles, NeeDoh squishies, and bag charms from a “blind box” for every zipper. Your head is spinning just trying to figure out what any of those products even are, and the price tags make it even worse.
For many families, basic school supplies used to mean colorful notebooks, pencils, and a fun bag. Now, every item on the list is not only more expensive, but also carries more emotional weight.
Back-to-School Shopping Stress by the Numbers
In a recent study that polled over 1,000 parents, half of respondents reported that school shopping is more stressful now than in past years. Part of this is financial: 47 percent said they had overspent on brand-name items because their child insisted. Where a generic bottle used to be fine, kids now ask for $45 tumblers and branded backpacks costing $70 or more.
Fast-moving trends also make shopping harder—trends sweep through schools at a breakneck pace because of social media influences, so kids keep needing more and different stuff. Search spikes tell the story: Some products have climbed in online searches by tens of thousands of percentage points. Within the span of one year, searches for Labubu backpacks surged 24,531 percent, KPop Demon Hunters backpacks 11,055 percent, and Pusheen backpacks 783 percent.
As a result, the envy that saturates kid culture is stronger than ever. Nearly 40 percent of parents in the study reported that their child has cried over a back-to-school item, and 1 in 5 parents has even considered homeschooling to escape the pressure. When they don’t get the trending items they want, the social and emotional consequences can feel dire for kids.
What Brand Envy Does to Kids’ Self-Esteem and Friendships
Envy is a normal human emotion. But tween and teen brains don’t yet have fully developed emotional regulation tools to manage it, and feeling like an outsider is one of the most emotionally threatening experiences a kid can have. Envy can lead to feelings of sadness, inadequacy, and low self-worth when comparison spirals.
Here’s what plays out in hallways, classrooms, and cafeterias:
- Shame and sadness when kids worry their backpack, shoes, or water bottle are cheap or outdated
- Brand teasing, or children being bullied at school because they don’t have the fancy items and brands that are trending
- Social divisions—when children separate their social world into those who have branded items and those who do not, creating what’s known as superficial social stratification among friend groups
- Identity and self-worth erosion, when kids link peer approval to self-worth. If they’re embarrassed by a second-hand backpack or not having any squishies to trade, they might start to equate their worth with what they buy or bring to school, rather than defining themselves by their kindness, humor, or effort.
Why Brand Comparison Has Exploded Among Students
Today’s middle and high schoolers don’t just see what the other kids in their own school are carrying around. They see curated “What’s in my backpack?” videos, aesthetic bedroom desk tours, and TikTok hauls reviewing every item by brand name.
One of the biggest problems with social media is how “addictive” it can be, especially for young brains. Platforms are designed to keep you scrolling by keeping your algorithm tailored to what you—and the people you spend time with—like.
If a kid is 15, they’re going to see ads and reels that encourage them to buy and do what other 15-year-olds are buying and doing. Exposure to advertising is associated with greater materialistic attitudes in children, and social media supercharges that exposure.
Around half of parents believe social media has made school shopping more expensive, and 60 percent of parents say kids’ requests come from content they see online. Seeing peers or influencers with things they want and don’t have can cause immediate dips in self-esteem and increases in depressive symptoms—making kids even more vulnerable to brand comparison.
Do Squishies, Bag Charms, and Water Bottles Support Mental Health?
Squishies—soft, squeezable toys in shapes like animals, food, or popular characters—have become a staple in middle school hallways. Kids do squishy trades, swap bag charms, and compare water bottles at lunch. These items offer a non-digital social focus, letting kids play together and trade, which builds social skills.
Are squishies good for kids? They certainly can be. They provide predictable sensory input that can calm the nervous system, such as helping manage test anxiety through repetitive motion. They could even give shy kids an easy conversation starter (“Want to trade?”). They can be excellent regulation tools for comfort and connection.
But because these items are connected to social currency, they can end up creating a sense of isolation and FOMO instead. Kids who can’t afford rare, expensive squishies like NeeDohs, or limited-edition Stanley colorways, may be left out of trading circles. These products can be very hard to find, with some only available on resale platforms for a significant upcharge.
7 Ways to Help Kids Navigate Brand Envy and Find Their Own Style
As a parent, you can start by acknowledging what’s happening, and then introduce and model the kind of healthier thinking you want your child to learn.
1. Name and explain envy
Comparing what you don’t have with what someone else does have (or seems to) is a normal part of human behavior. Envy is often a natural result of this behavior. People, especially kids, equate envy with being less-than and excluded, which are legitimate fears.
Talk to your kid about what envy is and help them understand it. Parents should help children identify underlying emotions of envy, because conversations about envy can reveal desires beyond material items, like needing to feel included and valued. Envy can teach children about their own desires and human needs.
2. Get curious
Don’t assume you know what’s going on with your child. Just because you know they’re struggling with envy doesn’t mean you know how it’s impacting them.
Ask age-appropriate questions to understand better what they’re going through, like, “What makes you feel left out?” and “What feels hardest about not having certain items?” Then practice nonjudgmental active listening.
3. Co-create a realistic budget
Help your children distinguish between wants and needs. Give them a clear dollar amount and say something like, “We have $150 for supplies and clothes. Let’s plan and list non-negotiables first.”
Then let kids choose where to spend on brands vs. basics. Of course, things like books, planners, or calendars need to come first, but after the necessities are taken care of, let your child take the reins.
4. Help kids express personal style affordably
Kids can build creativity and identity without the high cost. For example, they can try thrifting, making DIY bag charms, and customizing cheaper backpacks with patches or fabric markers. And if they want your help, you get to do a fun activity together.
5. Address brand bullying head-on
Internal brand deprivation stress is challenging enough to cope with on its own. When your child’s friends or schoolmates start to turn on them or tease them, it feels truly devastating.
If you think your kid is being bullied, don’t ignore it. Notify teachers, school counselors, or the principal. If needed, find a therapy program, perhaps a group program that can help your child work through self-esteem issues and make positive connections.
6. Set social media breaks
Reduce back-to-school-centered content before the year starts and throughout the year. When they do watch that type of content, ask them how it made them feel about their own things, and why.
Older children, especially teenagers, have the wherewithal to learn how to recognize marketing tactics. Helping them recognize these tactics early can help them approach purchases and materialism more thoughtfully.
7. Celebrate non-consumptive wins
Teaching gratitude can help children manage feelings of envy, and modeling gratitude can help reduce materialistic beliefs.
Try implementing a weekly or multi-weekly family dinner where everyone shares one moment they felt proud, grateful, or content that had nothing to do with what they were wearing or carrying.
Treatment to Support Kids’ and Teens Self-Esteem
If your child is struggling with depression, anxiety, bullying, or something just feels off, don’t wait to get them effective treatment. The earlier they can get help, the sooner they can gain valuable skills that will serve them throughout their life.
At Newport Healthcare, we help families and kids ages 7–18 manage mental health concerns that may be impacting or made worse by their experiences in school and with peers. Find out more about our residential and outpatient treatment programs nationwide.
No matter what a child or family is going through, we’re here to help. Contact us today to schedule a free assessment, or to learn more about referring a client or student to care.
