by Ann Dunning & Christina Kelmon
Most relaxation advice we get – especially around a certain age, ahem – sounds the same. Self-care! Meditate! Take a bath!
All of the cookie-cutter advice isn’t wrong, but it also doesn’t explain why so many of us hear “just relax” and feel more stressed.
Part of the problem is that we’ve narrowed relaxation down to one thing: sitting quietly, eyes closed, mind empty. For a lot of people, like me, that’s not restful at all — it’s just another to-do to ace.
We talked to Heather Hagen, MS, LMFT, Executive Director at Newport Healthcare, who said real recovery from stress often looks nothing like that.
“Relaxation doesn’t have to look like sitting still or clearing your mind,” she said. “Some of the most restorative activities are the ones that spark curiosity, creativity, or joy, whether that’s taking a walk outside, doodling, or doing something simply because it’s fun. Giving yourself permission to play is an often-overlooked way to reduce stress and build resilience.”
According to Hagen, here’s what that looks like in practice.
Take an “awe break”
Spending even a few minutes intentionally noticing something that inspires wonder — a sunset, a tree line, the ocean — can shift attention away from daily stressors and toward gratitude. It’s a small reset, but a real one, and it doesn’t require blocking off any real time.
Swap screen time for green time
Instead of reaching for your phone on a break, step outside. A short walk or a few minutes sitting in a park does more to restore mental energy and regulate mood than another five minutes of scrolling — especially after a day spent staring at screens.
Give yourself permission to play
Do something purely because it’s enjoyable, not because it’s productive. That’s a harder shift than it sounds for anyone used to measuring their time by output. But play activates different parts of the brain than work does, and that difference is exactly what supports stress relief and resilience.
“Relaxation isn’t always quiet,” Heather notes. “Sometimes the most effective way to unwind isn’t meditation or a spa day — it’s play. Whether that’s doodling, walking outside, building LEGOs, or laughing with friends, activities that spark curiosity and joy help shift the brain out of stress mode and into recovery.”
Create “micro moments” of joy
Relaxation doesn’t have to take an hour. A few minutes of doodling, singing in the car, tossing a ball around, or simply noticing your surroundings throughout the day can add up to something meaningful, without needing a dedicated block of time you probably don’t have anyway.
Engage in low-pressure creativity
Coloring. Paint-by-number. Journaling. Drawing with zero expectation of the result being good. The point isn’t the finished product — it’s the process, and giving your brain something to do that isn’t tied to an outcome.
Reconnect with childhood hobbies
There’s a reason “kidulting” — building LEGO sets, playing board games, coloring, revisiting the things you loved before responsibility took over — has resonated with so many adults. Nostalgic activities bring comfort precisely because they’re not trying to optimize anything.
Make relaxation social
Invite a friend for a walk. Play a game with family. Joke around with coworkers on a break. Combining connection with something playful tends to reduce stress more effectively than either one alone.
As Heather puts it: “In a culture that celebrates productivity, it’s easy to feel like every moment needs to have a purpose. But our brains also need moments that aren’t goal-oriented. Whether you’re exploring nature, reconnecting with a childhood hobby, or simply laughing with friends, activities that cultivate awe, play, and connection are powerful ways to support long-term mental well-being.”
The bigger point
Most of us don’t need an entire day off to recharge — we need a few small, intentional moments folded into the days we already have. “Many people think they need an entire day off to recharge, but relaxation is often most effective in small, intentional moments,” Heather says. “Stepping away from your screen to spend a few minutes outdoors, noticing something beautiful, or engaging in a brief creative activity can help your brain recover from the constant demands of modern life.”
That’s a lower bar than most relaxation advice sets — and maybe that’s exactly why it works.
Originally published on Creators.Yahoo.com.
